Forget Feminism, I just wanna be a woman!
Yahya (c) For Aduunyo.com
I am one of those girls said to be a “natural born feminist”. From a young age I have been fighting for the recognition of the woman as an equal to man if not even superior! By the age of 14, i had a whole theory of how to rid the world of most of the male population without threatening the existence of human race, I called that “The Gender-cide Theory”. I was convinced to the core of my being that only women could turn the world into a better place and all we needed was a fair chance. Being a black, Muslim female my battle was greater than that of my white counterparts as I had to work much harder to conquer the stereotypes that worked against me. I was told the best way to beat the male system was through education, so I went on a mission to arm myself to the teeth with academic achievements.
Now, at the age of 26 i look back to my life and wonder if indeed i was right in pushing the feminist agenda. Despite achieving a string of academic qualifications, had leadership trainings and coaching and gaining “role-model” status within my community, I cannot help but feel a bit empty. See, I woke up to realise I was so busy trying to be a feminist that I forgot to just being a woman. What is the difference between being a feminist and taking pride in being a woman, you ask? Well, to me, there’s a big difference.
To my experience those who label themselves as “feminist” seem to be driven mostly by hatred for men (most of these women had at some point in their lives been emotionally deeply hurt by the men in their lives) while taking pride in being a woman is realising that being alone is greatest gift you can get. A lot of the girls i know who calls themselves feminists can’t seem to make a case for their cause WITHOUT engaging in men-bashing session. In other words, they come from a victims position always trying to prove that being a woman is NOT a disability. Yet, the irony is, the women themselves are in need of realising this, not the men!
My ambition to succeed has been driven by a sentence uttered a boy. At the age of 12 i was beaten by a racist white boy whose last words still ring in my head even today; “you are nothing more than a black girl in a white man’s world”. I got on a mission to show just what a black woman is capable of when she puts her mind to it! On the day of my bachelor graduation i felt my mission was completed….yet, I did not feel the satisfaction I thought I would feel. Instead I realised that although I defeated him in that I achieved what he never did (I finished my degree) I had actually suffered a greater defeat than he did. He had made me believe that me being born a woman I was born with a major handicap which I had to overcome. I was driven to prove that I was better than a man by words uttered by…yes, you guessed it…a man!
From that moment on I started to question what good feminism had really done for me. At first I thought my predecessors’ struggle had made it possible for me to be able to vote, get educated, own property etc. But then I realised the struggle of another individual actually guaranteed those rights to me more than 1400 years ago. And that individual was NOT a woman, but rather, ironically, a man…the Prophet (SAW). Researching into his (SAW) life I learned one crucial lesson; if you want to true happiness you need to take pride and be in tune with your true nature.
So, all my fellow sisters happy take on the “feminist” label, I end with the following advise. If you want men to give you your God-given rights do not challenge them with feminist ideology but subdue them with the feminine nature. Or, to borrow the words of my brother Deeq, kill them with love!
By Nomadic Empress
Category: Blogs |
what? dont get it? why do you feel empty? you need to stop and ask yourself these questions? I dont think it has anything to do with feminism or you being just a woman. you feel as though you missed out on something and i think its your way of saying feminism sucks and what I acheved is satisfing me. maybe i need to try something else and i want to be part of community you felt so ashamed of. only my thoughts. just pray and god will light the way. so lost and make no sence
By reading the title, i already had a conception who this person might be. And I was right. I am vivid follower of the somali diaspora particulary its youth as I ascribe myself to them.
From there, I noticed a new xisbi Hanoolaato educting youngsters about their people, history and the plundering of their natural ressources.In midst of Hanoolaato members the undeniable farvour and zeal of “Nomadic Empress” was not to be questioned. She really wanted the betterment of her people. On the other hand her feminst side was pronounced and somtimes alarming. I figured as long this type of agenda is pushed; unity is a fiction.
As an alternative, your new challenge Nomadic Empress should be how to get the brothers back on track. And with your leadership skills divert some of your attention to prisons. There are many hopelss brothers in jails knowing they lost a basic privelege:jobs. With the help of others, remind them and entice them of Allah, His prophet (saws) and teach them about Somalia. Once they come out of jail they have a purpose; first to go back to school and ultimately develop their country Somalia. No somali men or women is a lost cause inshAllah.
To say you realized that women’s rights was founded by men 1400 years is very surprise to me. Did you ever read in Islam?
See, I have seen lot of somali ladies who consider themsleves feminist and believe that men humaliating men is their way to feel pride, proud, and empowered.
I have taken humanity courses where lesbian teachers who overconfidently discribe themsleves as ” distinquished feminists” preach the plain hatred of men. One day, my Women’s culture course uttered these words ” You, young ladies should rethink for your destiny before you find yoursleves in the underbit of a abusive dominating think men who will force to live in mesirable lives”! I was also disrespected by the ladies in the class one day since I was the only black men and only real men.
The ladies said, “you are now dominated and oppressed as you do men to women.” it was discusion. I didn’t feel anything but laugh their naivity. I email the teach saying “i am a humble man and never dominated any women so why would she women disrespect me as if I used I abuse them”. She said, I can tell you, “you are not humble because there is no humble men or innocent men” and they did this to you because they probably felt your threat of dominating in this class”. I later chose my project to be poem which I can’t share with but it was clear such people calling themsleves feminist go that far.
Finally, I think women should realize degrading men will never make them feel pride, proud or empwoered by only causes more harship of both, especially women because I think regardless of law women and men can’t be same.
I also think the artistic picture in which you probably depicting your article also sends your impartiality and denial of men’s abilities and leaning towards giving women more justices than men which is basically another biased feelings of being impartial.
At least, don’t show it. because I will never accept women is better than me even if she gets Ph.D and I got no high school. education does not make people smart but enables them to have skills to survive.
And I think smartness of intelligence is god given and bestows whoever he gives regardless of gender so it would be wrong to say men is smarter than or women is smarter than men. Thanks
K so I had some difficulty reading some of the comments, but nevertheless thanks for the article Nomadic Empress. We can’t try to compete with men, for as sisters we have to understand we must work to only please our own selves. I really agree with you that many times girls feel as though they must prove something when that is not the case. Be happy with the person you are and just know that women and men are compatible rather than two forces competiting with each other. “Kill them w love”..
First, I don’t understand waht “kill man with love” means? does this mean, you decieve men by seducing yourselves and saying he “rapped” me by calling police or accusing him for crimes against you? Or does it mean, you make them vulternable to your love so you use like objects, and isn’t that what men tiressly trying to eradicate?
First, You have to realize that men and women can never be same nor have the same abilities. I understand intelligence is god given but some factors interfere with the idea of equal opportunity such as doing tough jobs like civil engeeering, combat, police. Oh, did I mention police? As D who knows a lot of law and how they operate police women can’t do the tasks of men nor are they required. In fact, they are required to call back ups when they see crimes or they resk shooting innocent lives. did you know that? i don’t mean to degrade women so hold on your little unfounded feelings. the other problem is you say “we only have to please oursleves”? that is totally gross. If one only has to gross, isn’t that being selfish? when did selfishness become something to be proud? See, lots of things happen to men that they don’t report such as rape because a lot of them either assume they will be ashamed to say I was rapped or will be disbelieved.
The problem with you ladies, the writer, and salma are that you also come here with biased sexist feelings that almost show your anti-men views. I wonder if you knew being anti-men is horrible crime you could go for jail. So please, be smart sisters who please themselves while you do your parents, relatives, community and men to be proud and healhy. Don’t say “kill men with love” because it shows some undesired feelings attached this phrase. Ignore men hating people and be realistic and use god given abilities to compete not only men but with other women. I love all
Salaams all!
Thank you all for your contributions and feedbacks, all are much appreciated!
I wrote this article as I reflected on things, and really wrote as the words came. So, if I have confused any of you perhaps it is because I may be at a confused state about this myself…lool… I wrote it to empty my head and also perhaps provoke a bit of debate and discussion, which judging from the comments I have succeeded in! =)
Qaryaqaan, I think you have missunderstood me on this one and to be honest, most of what I was trying to say in this article. Please clarify for me where I said ““we only have to please oursleves”? for I do not recall writing anything regarding that at all!
Secondly, I wanted to clarify what I meant with the “kill them with love” term. Both men and women are, or have the capability of being leaders. However their leadership styles differ according to their nature. Women can lead men through mercy and gentleness and NOT straight up challenge. When I say Kill them…I do not mean physically kill them or seduce them and then use them for your own sinister agendas. But the truth of the matter is, men will be those who occupy the most senior positions in society and women, especially the mothers, sisters and wives of these men in leadership, can “kill” their ego’s by love and make them work for greater good for humanity instead.
They say, behind every great woman there is a woman….i kind of disagree. Rather I belive, BEFORE every great man there was a woman and behind ever fallen man, there too was a woman.
All I am saying is us women can produce great men only if we work with our nature. And by producing great men, we could in turn produce peace and stability in our world….
for different people “to be a woman” may mean sth else, for me I love being independent of men, coz I like to develop my skills but also I don’t want to allow any man to abuse me financially as it happens many times, I don’t see myself staying at home whole day cooking, cleaning etc. I don’t really know why men can’t do this instead of sitting and watching TV
anyway I think men are strange…….
I appsolutely loved reading this article, Mashallah
kill them with love is the best advise, LOV IT
It`s was really an interesting artical and it deals with a current social issue within the somali diaspora community, which seems to be that the two genders have grown in dimetrically opposite dimensions. The somali womens IQ:s seems to have risen due to higher education, but there EQ:s seem to have parallelly declined the opposite applies for the males. This is of course a generalizing based on my personal observation and should in no way be consider to be a fact. This maybe a direct result of the fact that we live isolated from each most of our youth due to cultural and religious dogma and reminds me of a famous quote:
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”/// Anais Nin
The Somali people in general are in desperate need of precession simply a change in our orientation or we risk being stuck in constant rotation around the same axis in an infinite loop forever doomed to repeat the vicious cycle. The first step toward breaking this cycle is obviously awareness through interspection, which your article clearly encourages and for that you should be commended.
In the Qur’an the muslim society is described as “Ummathan wasathan”, a balanced society. (2: 143) It means a society that adopts a middle course, not swerving to extremes, whether it may be militant islam or radical feminism etc…..
Dare I suggest that you actually LEARN about feminism before you pin your very personal need for an excuse to deal with racism on the ideologies of feminism.
I fail to understand the relevance of the above experiences you describe to feminism.
You seem to not know what feminism is – otherwise you would know that the point of feminism is NOT to hate men. Quite frankly I’m shocked that this was written by someone who deems themselves “educated”!
It great that you’ve come to terms with you own disillusionment in regards to your gender, but your generalisations about feminism and the motivations behind women who consider themselves feminist or campaign for women’s right are very painful. You’ve totally missed the point!
Firstly to be a feminist does not mean you have a hatred toward men, that would be called sexist, feminism is a movement which arose through the fight for liberation and equal rights for women.
The fight for equal rights will qontineu as long as women are objectified and used as sexual objects in the mainstream media.
Perhaps what you are referring to in your article is women who have used the word “feminist” to cover their own hatred for men, and that really hampers the movement and declines popularity for the cause.
Men as our fathers and or husbands have rights over us in Islam but it is when our rights are impeded upon that we should stand firm and claim them back.